Everything can be taken from us with the exception of our ability to choose our response in any given set of circumstances. (With gratitude to Vicktor Frankl who wrote about this in his ground-breaking work “Man’s Search for Meaning” c.1946).

It did me well to remember this on Tuesday. Travelling from Calgary on a 7am flight to Toronto, I was excited with the prospect of arriving mid-afternoon to my quiet hotel room in Kansas City and snuggle into the down duvet for an afternoon nap before meeting with friends I connect with at an annual event.

You see, one of those nasty bugs …… the kind that steal your voice and your energy – landed on me last week. I rarely get ill, but this one landed. And on all four feet!

I arrived in Toronto to discover that my connecting flight had been ….. cancelled!

A super helpful gal at the Customer Service Desk found me an alternate routing ….. who knew you could get to the Midwest from the West via the Eastern Seaboard?  Welcome to travel following a major winter storm!

So here I am in the Philadelphia Airport, waiting for the re-routed, re-scheduled yet once again delayed flight…

I could get frustrated – or I can go with the flow and relax.

Guess which one I chose…

• I forgive myself for believing that getting frustrated or out of sorts helps – it doesn’t.
• I give myself permission to go with the flow, relax and be productive!
• I can be frustrated or I can relax and be productive. Either way I will arrive at my destination at the same time – I choose to relax!
• I am free to relax, and use the experience in my Musings! That makes the time productive!
• I know what it is like to relax and be productive at an airport lounge – everyone else is standing in line while I complete this!
• I am relaxed and productive, and know that a beautiful down duvet is waiting for me to arrive!

A couple of things I am reminded of today:

I will get there – just maybe not the most direct way!

I choose how to use my time.

I am in complete control of my attitude today and every day….

And now we are boarding – up, up and away!

Namaste,

Suze

I still remember that box in my elementary classroom. You know the one … decorated with hearts with a slot on the top, for a week leading up to the BIG DAY we would each eagerly post our secret Valentines – declaring that we “liked” someone else in the class. During my elementary school days every February 14 I would don my favorite pink or red outfit and head nervously off to school wondering if I would get any valentines. I remember munching on cupcakes with pink icing and those little red cinnamon hearts while watching the teacher begin to hand out the Valentines. My feelings of self worth were shaped by such experiences. How many Valentines I received let me know how likeable I was. Where I was picked for baseball teams defined my value, and the kindness or cruelty of the other grade 4 girls shaped how I trusted friendship.

If your experience mirrors any of these, if there is a tug on your heart or a flutter in your tummy, you are still allowing those experiences to define you. It is time to stop.

Only you have the right to define you. Not your grade 7 phys ed teacher, your mom or your ex-husband or wife. Not the grade 2 bully or the boss of your first job. Not your kids or your cats or your co-workers. You. Only you.

What if you “liked” yourself? Really LIKED yourself? Became your own Best Valentine every day of the year?

Dr. Robert Holden, the founder of the Happiness Project, and a warm and generous author colleague of mine at Hay House Books sent out a wonderful video today on Mirror Work. Developed and taught by Louise Hay, mirror work is a profoundly effective practice in developing self worth – and in coming to truly love and respect yourself. Combining Mirror Work with Belief Re-patterning deepens the experience, speeds up the process and allows you to move through the old patterns with ease.

http://www.louisehay.com/lovingyourself-video1

Gift yourself 15 minutes to follow Robert in a simple mirror exercise on this video, while using these re-patterning statements…

• I forgive myself for believing I need to be in self-judgment.
• I forgive myself for believing I need to treat myself in those old ways any longer.
• I give myself permission to open up to the possibility of loving myself more deeply today.
• I give myself permission to explore being my own “Best Valentine”.
• I can continue in the old way, or I could actively deepen my love for myself. I choose to deepen my self-love.
• I choose to speak kindly and gently to myself in the mirror for one minute, five times a day, for the next week.
• I am free to actively explore ways of being my own best Valentine.
• I am free to treat myself as well as I would anyone else I care deeply about.
• I deepened my love for myself yesterday by…(Going to bed early, eating an apple, buying myself a single rose – fill in your own example!)
• I am learning to love myself more deeply

As Robert Holden says, “Your relationship with yourself influences the quality of your relationships with everyone and everything else.” I’m excited experience the changes that occur for me as I take myself to a place of deeper self-acceptance, greater self-respect, and more self-love through renewing my commitment to Mirror work this week.

It’s great fun to be your own best Valentine – way better than the cinnamon hearts and punched out Valentines of your childhood.

I look forward to hearing of your experiences of learning to love yourself more deeply.

Namaste,

Suze

On Sunday morning I turned the calendar to discover a perfectly symmetrical month!

“Look! This month is in perfect alignment  – all organized, and tidy –  each row beginning and ending where it should – I wonder how often that happens.”

My partner looked at me quizzically and then became very quiet. My  random observation, and purely metaphorical musing was a math problem for him to solve. About a minute later he replied, “On average 3 months in 28 years – I think.”

His mind figured out the equation (how he does it I have no concept) AND found an answer while my mind was busy imagining the bliss of 28 days of orderly, predictable, “everything where and how it should be.”

Different minds, different perspectives – aren’t we all amazing! And his answer helped me come to my answer…and I want it more often than 3 times in 28 years.

My January was a month of rapid change, upheaval and the passing of three individuals who had a profound influence on me… and I was simply hankering for the idea of a month that would fit neatly into a box.

I’ve decided to put a big bow on the gift box that is February.

My answer lies inside that giftbox of this month…

Time to reach deeply into my heart and feel the truth of my life

-       Naps – lots of them, and many cups of tea

-       Long conversations with dear friends and loads of hugs

-       … and fun – lots of fun!

• I forgive myself for believing there just isn’t time.
• I give myself permission to savour the moment.
• I can rush or I can gift myself the time for what really matters – I choose to be present.
• I am free to find my place of heart.
• I know that place of presence – I experienced it when…
• I am learning to live more deeply from my heart-space and savouring life.

More balance every month, not just the months that are in perfect alignment.

Whether or not the calendar lines up, I’m making every day one of more symmetry.

Alignment isn’t outside of me, it is living body, mind and spirit in harmony.

It is exploring new ways of living more deeply from my heart-space…and in the process living in a way that really matters.

With gratitude to mom, my aunt and my friend whose passing led me to a place of profound peacefulness with what is.

Namaste,

Suze

“It isn’t what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about.”

-       Dale Carnegie – 1888-1955, Author and Speaker

What you think about is a choice – it may not seem like it, but it is.

You may believe you “can’t help it”, these negative thoughts keep spinning, and you are right – in the past you have been pulled and swayed by the gamut of thoughts swirling around in your mind. You may have been knocked over and taken out of the game by these thoughts – they are powerful, and they may even be true…but they are not supportive, and they can be changed.

• I forgive myself for believing it is hard to change what I think about.
• I give myself permission to consciously and proactively train my subconscious mind to be on the “up-side” of the line.
• I choose to develop positive thought as a new habit.
• I am free to change my thoughts – they are mine!
• I know what it is like to change my mind to happier thoughts – I did when…..
• I am actively learning to shift my thoughts to the positive.

 I love supporting others in learning to proactively shift their mindset – shall we explore this together?

My guiding word for 2015 “Influence” continues to impact my thinking, and I ask myself questions like…

Who do I choose to influence me?

What influences impact me in supportive ways?

Where will I place my energy to create the greatest positive influence?

How might I be a better influence?

How have I influenced the organizations and groups I belong to?

What kind of an influence do I want to be today?

Whose influence do I respect, and why?

• I forgive myself for all the times I’ve been influenced in the past by people and ideas that didn’t support me.

• I give myself permission to be aware of what I allow to influence me.

• I can be swayed to either side of the line – I choose to follow what supports me in becoming a more positive influence!

• I am free to change my influences to something that works for me.

• I was positively influenced today by…

• I am continuously influencing and being influenced, and I am conscious of the impact.

A lovely quote crossed my desk early in the new year…

“Every moment in front of another human being is an opportunity to influence someone with my humanity.” - Robin Sharma

When you set your intention, the messages come in wonderful ways!

What opportunity will you take today to create a positive difference?

Namaste,

Suze