Why Is It So Hard?

You know you “should” think positively – and it seems impossible when circumstances pile up, people around you are dumping in your direction or life in general knocks you over.

It seems impossible, because it is – unless you have trained yourself.

Humans are wired to go to the negative. All animals are. It is a survival mechanism. We are wired to stay alive, so any change to our environment whether large or small, kick into gear our survival instincts.

Think of any animal – a cat, a horse, a mouse – they all approach new situations with a tentative nature. They call all their senses into play – looking around, sniffing the air, pricking their ears up, stepping forward cautiously, their heart rate increases allowing them to move quickly if needed. They stay on high alert until they are sure the new situation is safe.and then they relax.

We are animals, and it is the same for us – whenever there is a change in our environment or situation we go into fight, flight and fear. The difference between animals and humans is that we often forget to check in to see if we are safe. We don’t relax. We stay in fight, flight, fear. When we are in this heightened state it is challenging to remember to look on the bright side. In fact, it is nearly impossible. The energy is strong, and often our imagination moves us to the “what if…” places of worry, doubt and anxiety. Your instinctual will to live has kicked in. Every bit of your bandwidth is focused on surviving. Fight, flight, fear. We forget to check in to see if what is happening is really life threatening. We create more frustration, anxiety, unease – and we don’t have ready access to our creativity, our intuition, our good ideas. Unable to think straight yet most people make decisions, both small and lifechanging, from this deficit place.

Which is why you want to train yourself to transform this strong survival energy into learning – so you are able to create what you truly want – from what I call the “up-side” of the line. The place where you can easily access your intuition, your creativity, your wisdom and your knowledge.

I forgive myself for believing I need to stay in that fight, flight, fear reactive place.

I give myself permission to transform that energy into learning.

I chose to learn and move forward from whatever changes happen.

I am free to learn and move forward today when I…

I know what it feels like to overcome that fight, flight, fear place – I learned and moved forward when I …

I am transforming reactive energy into proactive learning energy.

I am grateful for training myself to do this as my normal way of BEing.

You are wired to reactively survive – which is good.

You are also wired to proactively learn, which is something even better.

Create the habit of transforming the energy when your survival buttons are pushed.

Use this energy to move forward. Learn. Re-pattern.



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Yes. It is a really long flight!

Twenty-four hours from airport to airport – Calgary, Canada to Sydney, Australia.

I love it – not just the arriving, but the journey itself.

A short and familiar hop across the Rockies to Vancouver with 4 hour connection could be irritating, and I watched many passengers pacing, checking and rechecking the Departure Board. We set our timer and then wandered the terminal – appreciating the stunning native art, the lovely seafood restaurant and a quiet gate where we could stretch out.

And then it is time! Others call it the “long haul” across the Pacific, I refer to it as leaping the equator and the International Time Zone in a state of near suspended animation, away from distractions and demands.

Others find it boring and monotonous – I welcome the opportunity to just be.

The daily expectations and “should, must, have tos” melt away to respecting others and delighting in the self-indulgence of reading, listening to music, watching a movie, sleeping, napping and quiet contemplation – the only requirement being all from the seatbelt of 20A. It becomes my sanctuary, there are few interruptions and I already know my answers to beef or chicken, cold or hot breakfast, and red or white.

I read a wonderful novel cover to cover, slept for more than 9 of the 16.5 hours and played Suduko and Crib to my heart’s desire.

forgive myself for believing I need to focus on the constraints of what I can’t do.

I give myself permission to be present to what supports me.

I can be irritated by constraints and dragged down by demands or I can be nurtured by what is supportive. I choose.

I am free to be present to what supports me and focus my attention there.

know how to live this way – I practiced it on the flight here.

am BEcoming more present to what supports me in my life

I am grateful for my conscious perspective – it creates more ease and enjoyment daily.

You may wonder… “What about the jet-lag?”

I keep expectations and demands at bay, sleep when I am tired, eat when I am hungry and make sure to move my body.

The trip and the jet-lag are real. So is my decision of how to perceive what is.

It is a great way to live.



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My BIG 3

Friday – end of last week and I had created a To Do list longer than superwoman could accomplish with all of her super pals pitching in…

I was feeling weighed down… and then the phone rang – friends inviting me to Globalfest – a celebration of diversity and culture culminating in a huge fireworks display Sunday night. I thought about the list and weighed it with the invitation… using my big 3 as my filter. What would create the most Joy, Love and Harmony? Globalfest was amazing, with many reminders of my Big 3. Consciously manifesting, it works!

…and the To Do list? Thanks for asking – it is rapidly becoming my Ta Done! List moved forward by the energy of my Big 3!

Namaste, Suze

Originally posted August 21, 2013

Listen to Suze’s radio show Your BIG 3: https://beliefrepatterning.com/resources/radio-show-archives/

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Breathe it in.

Calm. Quiet. Peace.

Daily living doesn’t have to be hard or a struggle.

You’ve been easily letting in chaos, noise and dissent.

Switch it up. It is as easy as making a decision.

After a 3 day lovely unplugged mini holiday at the beach, I arrived at the Comox Airport for my flight home.


I could have been upset that I couldn’t get home. My carefully organized un-plugged get-away had resulted in 3 action-packed days at the end of the week.

I made a decision.

I headed back to the beach to watch a bonus sunset. My cousin remade the bed with the sheets we had just washed earlier in the day (since we thought I was leaving!). And we pulled out the backgammon board and played waaaay past my bedtime.

I still had a full day of work Wednesday, fortunately I can work remotely – another decision I made 2 decades ago that the rest of the world caught onto in the last 3 years.

A decision to create a lifestyle of calm where there had been chaos, where I seek the quiet from the noise and consciously shift dissent into peace.

My ocean swim late Wednesday afternoon when I finished my client calls was ever so delicious and soul-fulfilling!

Victor Frankl was right in Man’s Search for Meaning in 1946 when he wrote:

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

There’s A LOT of noise, chaos and dissent right now. Make the decision not to add to it.

There are reasons to, and you can list them, justify them and act on them.

Or you can claim your own Peace, find the calm that is also available and be quiet within.

I don’t like the dissention around me.

I give myself permission to create my own peace within.

I choose peace, and the quiet calmness it brings.

I will feel calm and peaceful as I watch the video from the beach.

I remember being calm and peaceful when I was… (specifically where you felt it)

I AM creating more peace and calm within, just but changing my thoughts.

That feels better, I am thankful I made the decision to create my own quiet.

You are right. You probably can’t fix the chaos immediately. But you can choose your response.

You can decide not to add to the dissention and the noise. You can decide to create your own peace and quiet.

Good decision. Here’s to your growth and freedom.

Thanks for joining me.

There were a LOT of upset and complaining passengers on the flight home Wednesday night.

Grumbling, each listing the inconvenience caused to them personally. People who, like me, had their plans changed by a fire in one of the three transformers at the Calgary Airport Tuesday night. An accident. Something that is highly unusual and could not have been avoided. Caused by a lightning strike…

Instead of grumbling, I chose to be grateful no one was injured. I focussed on the good that was possible. Between stimulus and response there is a space.

I responded with calm, quiet, peace. It was a conscious decision.

And the flight attendant gave me 2 packages of cookies with my mint tea. Co-incidence? Maybe. Or evidence of growth and freedom…

As we each become lighter, the world becomes brighter.



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Clouds and Rain… Not Always a Bad Thing

In Alberta this year we experienced more hot sunny dry days in May than usual. It was terrific for backyard BBQs and getting together on decks and patios to socialize, and we made the most of it.

BUT – seeds didn’t germinate in the fields because it was too hot and too dry.

Our forests were tinder boxes, and went up in smoke. The smoke billowed out over vast areas, and fires raged across the country. In one month, more hectares of forest were destroyed by fire than in any full year previous.

Although I live about 300 km south of the closest big fires, many days the smoke was so thick you couldn’t see to the end of the block. Outdoor activities were cancelled, eyes and throats stung, and breathing was laboured.

And then the rain began.

You bet we are grateful for the cool, soggy weather this week. Slow, gentle rain that soaked into the ground helping to rebalance from the lack of snow pack last winter. Weather so cool that all the precious precipitation made it into the earth, not evaporating in the heat nor running down the streets. Nurturing, calming, life-giving – just what we needed to get back on track.

It doused the fires, cleared the smoke in the air and allowed thousands of evacuated families back into their communities and their homes.

It gave everyone a chance to breathe deeply, and be grateful. No one complained of the cool weather – even when the furnaces kicked in!

And the seeds in the fields began germinating!

Which got me to thinking about all of this as a metaphor for life.

Sometimes I get on such a fast-paced roll I don’t realize the stress it is causing my body, mind and soul. And then there is a tough patch or things slow down. My vision isn’t as clear, I seem to loose direction and I stop to catch my breath – and rest.

And then I regain sight of my path, and begin moving forward in the direction of my goals and dreams – and the seeds I planted begin to grow. Kind of like Mother Nature did this week with the clouds and the rain.

I forgive myself for believing the dark days are always bad.

Instead I begin to see dark times as an opportunity to nurture myself more deeply.

I choose to give myself the nurturing I need – body, mind and soul.

I am free to nurture myself today by ________.

I will fill myself up tomorrow when I ________.

I know how to nurture myself, I did it when I ________.

I am using the dark times to really nurture myself and get back on track.

I am grateful for my own nurturing, and the quieter, darker times that give me the opportunity to recharge.

If you need some support in transforming the dark times into something nurturing for yourself, reach out and connect. I’ll hold the flashlight so you can find your feet, start breathing deeply again, and have a clear vision of where you are headed. Together we will watch your dreams and goals become your reality.



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