I feel Like I’ve Been Holding My Breath

I woke to those words a couple of nights ago. They have been rattling around in my head ever since.

Then today I saw a post that said “It’s the 4 year anniversary of the 2 week lockdown”, and I understood – the isolation, the masks, the distancing started 4 years ago.

It’s been a rollercoaster of open for business and stay 6 feet apart.

And I realized that I have been waiting for the next thing… the next emergency… the next lockdown.

So, I did for myself what I would do for a client. I poured myself a big glass of water, sat down with my 999 words, and asked: Is there a word to support me to re-pattern that feeling of “holding my breath”?


I forgive myself for believing I need to hold my breath

I give myself permission to allow myself to breathe

I can choose to hold that old ICK, or I can choose to breathe deeply… I choose what supports me – and I choose to breathe deeply.

I am free to allow myself to breathe today when I take my dog, Bear, for a long walk and breathe in the fresh air and sunshine

I know what it’s like to breathe freely, I felt it when I stood on the beach and took a big deep breath of ocean air last year while on vacation.

I DO breathe freely and deeply… and that feels invigorating!

I am grateful to myself for consciously breathing deeply – that reminds me that I am alive!

While I may not know what tomorrow is going to be, I do know that I can choose how I show up for it. 



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