Kindness and Generosity

Lasting relationships come down to—you guessed it—kindness and generosity. It shouldn’t really come as a surprise, but is it really that simple? Psychologist John Gottman and his wife Julia run The Gottman Institute and have studied healthy relationships in married couples for 4 decades. Their results are scientifically proven and conclusive. Regardless of the variables – socio-economic factors, age, financial status, family background, children, ethnicity  – there are two distinct characteristics in happy and successful partnerships:

Kindness and Generosity.

It is fascinating research and gave me a lot of things to think about when my partner read the article from The Atlantic aloud to me. I’m really interested in building a “grand” relationship. I’ve had good, I’ve had bad, I’ve had mediocre, and now I am focused on creating a ‘grand relationship’…and to do that I must continue to nurture a grand relationship with myself… only then can I show up full on and authentically in all my relationships – a grand partnership included!

The article got me thinking about when and where I am kind and generous with myself, and where and when I am kind and generous with others. It isn’t selfish to be kind and generous to ourselves first. The more I think about it the more I think it’s mandatory. This kind of self-care allows me to be present to others in my life – friends, family, clients, and business associates.


  • I forgive myself for believing that I don’t deserve my own kindness and generosity.
  • I give myself permission to deepen my self-care in kind and generous ways.
  • I can leave myself until last – I’ve tried that and it’s often disastrous, or I can deepen my self-care and be kind and generous to myself. Imake this choice because it supports me as well as others!
  • I am free to be kind and generous to myself today by…
  • I was kind and generous to myself this morning when I went to the pool first thing! Rocky relations come back to you guessed it kindness and generosity fiction really come as a surprise but is it really that simple psychologist John Gottman’s wife Julia Gottman Institute
  • I am becoming a kinder and more generous person, beginning with me.


The world becomes gentler, relationships easier, and partnerships truly a place of secure and sacred growth when we are kind and generous with ourselves.





Check out the full article here: